Random Narutoness
by FrozenClaws
Summary: A random day where Naruto finds out what fanfictions are. After that...let's just say "randomness". Disclaimer: This story was meant for FUN. It was simply an impulsive act of randomness. No offense intended. Dante Sparda, Train Heartnet, Nyan Cat cameo.


**Hey, whoever is reading this! As you know from my summary, this was simply for fun! **

**BTW, this is a one-shot.  
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**Most of it actually derived from strange conversation between me and my friend. **

**There's a lot of randomness in this and I'm sorry if any of it offends you.**

**I hope you enjoy reading!**

**(and i take no credit for characters that seem familiar of sort)  
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"What is this?" Kiba asked.

"I think it's called a computer," Naruto said. "Some of _my _fans told me to check out this website called 'fanfiction'."

"You talk to fans?" Kiba asked.

"Of course!"

"Jeez, you're crazier than I thought. I mean, even I don't talk to household objects."

"Not those type of fans!"

"Do you talk to lamps?"

"No!"

Naruto turned to the computer and found the link of fanfiction.

"Hey, Kiba, look at this! You can choose which characters you want in the fanfiction."

"Wuz a fanfiction?"

"It's a story your fans write about you," Naruto explained proudly.

Naruto scrolled down the list of characters and quickly selected 'Naruto' and 'Sasuke'.

"Why'd you choose you and Sasuke?" Kiba inquired.

"There's ought to be an awesome fight written about me and Sasuke!"

Kiba shook his head in disbelief but continued watching the screen.

"What's a 'lemon'?" Kiba said, reading the screen.

"A sour yellow fruit."

"The people are writing about you, Sasuke, and a lemon?"

"I guess so."

"What are you guys looking at?" Sakura asked, walking into the room.

"We're gonna read a story about me, Sasuke, and a lemon having a fight!" Naruto explained, happily.

Sakura raised an eyebrow but looked over his shoulder to see it. Naruto moved the cursor and clicked on the link. The story popped up and suddenly Naruto, Kiba, and Sakura leaped back.

"Ehhhh?" they all exclaimed in unison.

"What is this?" Naruto shrieked.

"Your fans are crazy!" Kiba yelled.

"You guys like reading this kind of material?" Sakura screamed.

"N-!" they started to say, when Sakura smashed her fist into both of their faces.

"I can't believe you guys! Well, maybe Naruto, but I'm disappointed in you Kiba!" Sakura said with her hands on her hips.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Naruto exclaimed.

"What is going on?" Kakashi asked, walking in. He noticed the computer on the desk. "What's this?"

"No, Kakashi, don't look at-" Kiba started pitifully.

"I have to check what you're looking at. You know, like parental control," he said.

"We got on there by accident!" Naruto said desperately.

Naruto, Kiba, and Sakura stared at Kakashi. He was reading far too long for just 'checking' and he didn't seem the least bit angry. Sakura suddenly had an epiphany. A look at Kakashi's face determined her suspicion.

"Kakashi! How can you like this stuff?" Sakura shouted.

Kakashi's body flew out of the window as her foot smashed into his chin.

"Men are all disgusting," she huffed as she stomped out of the room.

"Ugh, this is all your fault, Naruto," Kiba said, pushing himself up from the floor. He felt his cheek for broken bones.

"How was I supposed to know?" Naruto said.

Kiba sighed in frustration and left the room.

"Why are they so angry, Naruto?" Lee said, walking into the room.

"Yeah, they seem pretty pissed," Tenten said.

"Is that Kakashi unconscious outside?" Neji asked.

"Um, uh…" Naruto leaped up and quickly got rid of the window on the computer screen.

"The power of youth!" Gai said, leaping in the room and pointing at the ceiling.

"That doesn't even make sense," Naruto said.

"Half of the stuff they say doesn't make sense," Neji said, looking disdainfully at Lee and Gai who were prancing around the room talking about something about painting a wagon.

"What is 'fanfiction'?" Tenten asked, looking at the computer.

"Stories that your fans write about you," Naruto replied.

"Cool!" Tenten exclaimed. She inserted her name into the 'character bar'. She frowned as she scrolled down the cursor and saw 'Neji and Tenten pairing!' in about every description.

"Why are they about me _and_ Neji?" Tenten asked. "Nobody appreciates me as an individual!"

Neji glanced at the screen as Tenten stormed out of the room. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Lee, have I ever done anything that implied I liked Tenten?" he asked.

"Well, no, but I thought you didn't like anybody."

"Hn."

"Are there any drinks? I'm kind of thirsty," Lee asked.

"I think there's apple cider," Naruto said, carelessly giving Lee a bottle. "Here you go."

Lee took the bottle and quickly chugged half of it down. As he lifted the bottle, Neji widened his eyes in surprise. A large label of 'Sake' was plastered on the bottle.

"I am feeling pretty fabulous!" Lee cheered as he spun out of the room.

"Uh…Naruto?" Neji asked.

"Shoot."

"I'm not responsible," Neji said, as he strolled out of the room.

Naruto sprang out of the room and ran after Lee after he could cause any damage.

"Lee!" Naruto shouted.

"I talk to the trees!" he sang in falsetto, executing a perfect pirouette and leaping away.

"I'll tell you my dreams!" Gai said, leaping after his student.

"Eh?" Naruto exclaimed. "Gai is also drunk?"

Suddenly, there was a rustle in the tree as eight enemy ninja leaped out.

"Enemies!" Gai shouted.

He and Lee chased them into the woods, leaving Naruto alone. He blinked. "Wait a second! Come back!" he exclaimed.

As Lee and Gai stumbled after the enemies, they surrounded them.

"This is my chance to show off my new jutsu!" Lee sang. "Douchelamp no jutsu!"

In a puff of smoke, Dante from Devil May Cry showed up.

"Dude, where am I?" he said.

"Attack them!" Lee shouted, falling on his face.

"Like we'll let you!" the enemy ninjas shouted.

They threw a gigantic shuriken that impaled Dante's heart. He glanced down and looked up warily.

"So this is how it's gonna be, huh?" Dante asked.

_Wait!_ he thought, _Now I have to say some cheesy catchphrase!_

"This party is going bazacko!" he said, pointing at the sky.

"Huh?" an enemy ninja said.

Dante held up his gun and tilted his head in a cool way. He flipped in the air unnecessarily and shot them all. He frowned. One enemy ninja had escaped.

"Hah!" the ninja yelled all stealthy-like.

Dante slashed out with his sword and the ninja fell to the ground.

"Such weaklings," he said looking at the sky, because looking into the distance is apparently cool.

Just then, Naruto burst through the foliage. His eyes widened as he saw Dante's sword covered in blood.

"Yah!" he shouted. He flung five shurikens that stuck in Dante's forehead.

"What's this?" Dante said, as he plucked them out.

He shot at Naruto but only managed to nick his orange jumpsuit.

"You did not!" Naruto said.

"Believe it!" Dante said.

Naruto merely stared at the tear in his jumpsuit.

"Hm…what a strange person," Dante said, walking away.

"I can't believe it!" Naruto shouted. His eyes flamed with fury. "He used my genius catchphrase that took me, like, four minutes to think of _and_ he ruined my stylish and stealthy orange jumpsuit. I can't believe it!"

He stormed off in frustration. Suddenly Train Heartnet appeared with the Nyan Cat.

"What is this place?" he asked nobody in particular.

"Nyan nyan nyan nyan," the Nyan Cat sang.

"That's for sure," Train said, walking away.

_Train's introduction has absolutely no affect with the current lame plot._

"I talk to the trees!" Lee sang.

Off in the distance, random people that I decided to pick off the street heard Lee's song.

"Hm…that reminds me of the time…" they started to say.

-Insert half an hour of flashbacks here-

"Hey, how ya doin'?" Gai said to the tree behind him.

"Are you seriously talking to a tree?" Dante said, walking up to him.

"I've had enough with you!" Gai shouted.

He held his hands together and did some cool hand gestures.

"Friday no jutsu!" Gai shouted.

Suddenly, Rebecca Black appeared singing.

Dante's eyes widened and he froze before saying, "Hey, what is this music? It's actually pretty good."

Gai ran away in fear. "He truly is invincible!"

**Disclaimer: I don't think Dante is a douchelamp...just an inside joke between me and my friend. (though he is kind of cheesy :) ) **

**And yeah, I dont think he would like Rebecca Black's music ==**

**Stroke of randomness, that's all.**

**Well! Story's over! Hope you liked it!**


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